blogging ain't easy

i have more respect for bloggers. not that i didn't before. but even though thoughts are running through my mind constantly, writing them down is not always appealing.

so a lot has already happened since my first post. the fill was too tight. i started feeling odd, like i was choking on my saliva a few hours later. but feeling like you are choking is par for the course. i let it go. then around 3pm, i lay down under my desk to try to settle my stomach. despite not having anything in it, i felt nauseated somehow. i went home in a cab. i was feeling dizzy and so nauseated. all of a sudden i threw up into my mouth - all foamy saliva and the tablespoon of water i had earlier in the day. i opened the door of the cab and let it out into the street.

gross.

i got home, tried some warm liquids, some cold liquids and a little bit of rum (booze loosens the band a bit, my doctor actually suggested it!). everything came back up. eventually, i couldn't swallow my saliva. i followed the recommendations of my shrink (more about him later) and called the on-call doctor. she finally called me back and then contacted one of the bariatric interns to meet me at the ER. i waited for five hours but it was worth it. the two seconds it took to remove the liquid from the band were worth it. i felt so amazing after. it was the right choice. i could not stop drinking water. i was sore and it was moving slowly - but moving.

i have to go back next week for a re-fill. a less ambitious one this time. lesson learned - you have to trust yourself. if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't (i should use this more in my dating life!).