Sunday, May 31, 2009

girdles as torture device

i am in my sister's wedding on saturday, june 6th. i have a pretty nice dress - red jersey, floor length with a satin band around the waist. the cleavage is a bit much. but i look pretty good in it. jersey material is very comfortable - but is not the most flattering. it tends to highlight physical flaws. so today, i went with my sister and mother to buy a GIRDLE.

i have been avoiding wearing them for years. i bought one last year for another bridesmaid dress (always the bridesmaid, nevah the bride!) but it was so uncomfortable and didn't really seem to make me look any better. i tried wearing it one or two times but then stopped - it doesn't feel good and i don't look good in it, so why bother?

but i definitely need something with this jersey dress. so off we went to macys. thin people can wear spanx and shapewear. fat people wear girdles. i also resisted getting one because it was like throwing in the towel and saying "i give up - i'm fat!". my mom and sister pulled a few types - some that are like tight panties, some that are like biking shorts, some that are like a corset, one piece bathing suit... i tried them on over my underwear and checked out the fit with the dress i was wearing. i was moving like a contortionist trying to get these medieval torture devices unto my body. i began sweating profusely, doing this crazy dance, jumping, tugging, yanking. it took like five minutes to just get the first one on - only to have my mother tell me it wasn't the right kind!

i did end up finding one i liked - and it was $60. wtf!?! i am broke as a joke now but i was willing to get it because once i got the one i liked, i didn't need to try on any others and that was worth $1 billion dollars! i went to the sale rack and found a similar style in tan and black that were $12 each on sale - $8 after the coupon discount. win! they are comfortable enough that i am considering wearing one tomorrow. as awful as it feels to be someone who wears a girdle, an old fatty, but my stomach and love handles were greatly reduced and i looked neater, less sloppy. kinda worth it.

i am going back for a re-fill next week. as long as i get back to losing weight and maybe even trek to the gym for once, then the girdles can be a part of my past. right?

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