Friday, July 17, 2009

a long day!

i woke up first around 7am, half drunk and half hungover. i bailed on work which i have not done in a long time but it was a necessity.

it was my friends last day at work, she is starting her mba program this fall. so we went to a nearby mexican restaurant and there were pitchers of margaritas that were the most toxic i have ever had. i joked that they were made from paint thinner and turpentine and i do not think i was far off. i still drank too many of them and was already drunk when we made our way to a karoake bar. many many many pitchers of beer later, i was passed out in the back of the cab with a paper bag over my face in case i threw up. good times.

i seriously felt AWFUL today but i was not the only one. everyone was tanked and out too late. messy. it took me hours to convince myself to get up for water and food even though i knew they would make me feel better.

and i had a date scheduled. i pushed it back a few hours to 7pm and was able to pull myself together, throw on a nice dress and put on some make up so i did not look like death. i was not particularly excited about the date but nervous as i have not been on one in a while. not a real one anyway. we met at a place in cobble hill called the chocolate room which is a nice date place. not great for a girl on a diet but fortunately i do not have a super sweet tooth. just some coffee and a chocolate chip cookie and a couple bites of my dates chocolate cake.

so my date. morgan. 28, persian, getting his mba. he did his undergrad in engineering at an international university in cyprus then moved to the us to live with his sister and do his graduate degree. very nice, smart and funny. his profile said he was five foot ten so i was not surprised that he was closer to five foot eight. he is sort of attractive but not the look i generally go for. also, he is on the slim side which makes me feel somewhat self-conscious. but we had a nice time, nice conversation... we are planning to go out again soon. so i guess that means he liked me. and i am willing to see how it goes. definitely a good experience!

i have not been good with the budget the past few days. i charged a pitcher of beer and took out cash today. but i took my cards out of my wallet and kept only half the cash for the next couple days for coffee and toilet paper. the other has to go to some groceries, i am finally running low. going to my sisters tomorrow to help her organize some stuff for ebay - hope to convince her to pay me $10 or with free stuff. and seeing my brother on sunday who owes me $15. so not terrible but not great. i have some reimbursements coming my way soon too so that is also good.

all in all, good stuff.

i have some work to do this weekend and need to work on my paper and some stuff for school which sucks but just two more weeks of class then a FULL MONTH OFF! then post labor day, back to hell. but i am going to enjoy every moment of freedom i have - including going to the gym, free events in the city, hanging out with my niece.

my niece - the love of my life. my six year old niece has autism and i really think that makes me love her more somehow. i am so fiercely protective of her. fortunately, she likes being held and touched and is not a severe case. she is also of normal intelligence thankfully. i just want her to have a good life. at six years old, her idiocyncrasies are not damning but every year that goes by that she is in special education and not really communicating is scary. not everyone is nice or understanding of people who have disabilities and that is what worries me. and her parents of course. but i made a commitment about a year and a half ago that i was going to spend more time with her and build a relationship and i am happy that we have made such progress. my brother is too. i just love her. her long eyelashes, her beautiful face, her smile, her little hands, her obsession with dora and diego, her willfulness... over christmas break, we went to the aquarium in atlanta (stunning) and saw these amazing whale sharks. we talked about the whale sharks a million times. when she saw the fish tanks at the prospect park zoo, she said "whale shark". you never know what is getting through to her at the time but there it was. months later and she made that connection. prompted by her mother, she told me "i love you too" - and i burst into tears. i never thought i would hear those works from her and it just killed me.

autism is a real issue in our world today. we do not know what causes it or why it happens. it is also such a HUMAN condition - i mean, taking away the ability to relate socially for such a social animal... baffling. it happens everywhere and in every culture and every social class. i do not think there is a cure or that we will necessarily know one in our lifetime. all i hope is that she continues to make progress in such a way to live a somewhat independent and satisfying life.

anyway, thats it for now. going to try to do a bit of homework before calling it a night.

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