wow, i'm a terrible blogger!

i need to make this a daily habit. otherwise its moot.

quick update - weight loss is slooooow. my brother actually had the lap band surgery yesterday. that makes FOUR of seven kids who have had weight loss surgery. my dad is thin as a rail and two of my sisters got his genes and the rest of us... well, you know. i had a fill last week and then went in two days later to get another fill because i wasn't tight enough. one week later, able to eat a pretty sizeable cheeseburger and some fries. i am going to call and speak to someone because ever since i went to the ER in MAY, it just has not been the same. i am scared that the band slipped and i might have to have the procedure done again. i pray this isn't the case.

however, i am back to good with the gym and so that is a priority. although there is a new article saying that exercise will not help you lose weight! http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914857,00.html - kind of takes the wind out of my sails. that said, the gym is great for muscle tone, good sleep, energy so its still worth it obviously.

my financial situation is vastly improved. i have stuck to the budget like glue! and thanks to my sister's diligence i have been really good. only one minor slip, that wasn't even a slip because my insurance company somehow forgot to bill me in july but is taking double in august. thats fine - its on the spreadsheet. i even now know how i am going to deal with wedding presents that are sickly late without breaking the bank! my sister really is amazing. i feel SO much more relaxed - i did not even realize how stressed i was.

i got an A in my summer class - 3.93 GPA. i'm bragging. but i work so hard at school and work that i feel like i can brag about that at least. those are the things i know for sure i am good at...

relationships - that's another thing. i'm not so good at those.

mr craigslist is in ireland. i miss him. i cannot help but wish he would come to his senses. i am also dying to have sex. i admit it. i'm used to it and its been so long. sad.

morgan spazzed on me after just one date - he wanted me to go out with him again and was pissed that i wouldn't drop everything. he called a week later to apologize and ask for another date. i said okay even though i was kind of like, if he spazzs after one date, what is he like in a relationship? but i gave him the benefit of the doubt. we went out tuesday night and he pretty much told me that he wants to see me a lot... i was taken aback - not only because its so quick but because i sense that he just really wants a girlfriend and i happen to fit the bill. i also am not feeling him at all. not attracted. at all. he's not UGLY or anything, just not my type, i guess. i don't know. but i am willing to go out with him again - doesn't seem right to write him off yet. but i will be honest and say that i am still figuring stuff out. i don't want to be lead on and i certainly do not want to do that to anyone else. he's really nice and smart and we have a nice time together. the thing is that even though i really want sex, i do not see myself even kissing him - that says something to me...

the dude i met on the subway - jesus is his name! - i was planning on going out with him once or twice. i could see myself making out with him for sure. but he freaked me out when he called 8 times in a ROW. he left one message and then just called every five minutes or so. then a couple more times over the weekend. i don't know - that is weird right?

tomorrow i am meeting a friend for coffee or wine on his roofdeck. hmm. he and i have made out a bunch of times but never anything serious. he's a runner, slim, attractive. well he was attractive before he became manorexic. thats what i never got - he is always coming on to me (after drinks) but i would think that my body type would repulse him considering his fanaticism. but i also know that lots of men find fat women sexy and it kind of confuses them... whatever, i do not want to make out with him again and i hope he doesn't try anything. we are just supposed to be chatting about volunteer opportunities for him... unless thats an ulterior motive????

why am i so suspicious today???

anyway, apologies for the delay in posting to my ONE reader :) and i will try to do better in the future. probs not this weekend - insane day tomorrow, prepping for baby shower saturday morning, then baby shower, then running off to fire island until sunday night!

i have a pretty awesome life, i should NOT complain as much as i do. i'm sure i will be back on here bitching and moaning in no time.